Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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