I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
