He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
