Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
