forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
