i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize