It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
