it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
