He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My breasts were aching with rage.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
