But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
