my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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