Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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