I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
