i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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