About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
