it hurts more in the daytime
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
