Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
