also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
