you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
