Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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