I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
