I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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