He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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