have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize