I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
