I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
