Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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