so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
