im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
is that a dick in a sweater?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
