Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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