i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
