Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
