Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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