i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
