Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
