Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
