My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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