Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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