He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
