Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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