Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
