Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize