Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
