jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
