JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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