shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You made out with two different species that night
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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