i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
