what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
