I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
