I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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