Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
