oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just tell him i said nine months
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize