You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
