there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
