She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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