Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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