were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
