Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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