i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
